butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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