everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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