Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
My pussy is not your playground.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
