Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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