nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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