You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Ambien. No doubt about it.
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
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