Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
