he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
40s are totally the cure
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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