what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Randomize
