this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
time to smoke my breakfast
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
