there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
