I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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