sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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