pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Do you have feelings for this penis?
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