We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
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