my phone cant type all the emotion im having
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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