I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
