names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
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