my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
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