Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
