Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
