I think I just saw someone hide a body.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
