There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
