week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
it's great music for shaving your balls
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
