okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
