so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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