So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
