put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
