Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
