i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Randomize
