i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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