so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
