That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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