I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
