Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
