today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
As shirtless as possible
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
