Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
