K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Randomize
