She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
