the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
