Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
