I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Randomize