I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize
