there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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