he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize