just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
