please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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