..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
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