But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Randomize
