So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
