shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
