he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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