Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
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