On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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