i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
