My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
