Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
