If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
