i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
