if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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