Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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