Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
