his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
