I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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