we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
40s are totally the cure
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Randomize
