She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize