I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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