do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
