Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
