I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
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