I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
