did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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