He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
